Previous Post: "Part III ~ Insecurities.”
I am a romantic at
heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written
has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples
together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see
that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated
in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I
learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going
until it is done.
The Bible says cast your bread on many waters and surely it
will return to you. It is a life principle found in proverbs, a great book of
wisdom. If you give love, than surely you will receive it. As a mathematician,
I can see the logic behind this principle. If you have the time and money, you
are destined to win the lottery, buying a million tickets may not be enough but
it is possible.
Now, I am not suggesting in any shape, form or fashion that
you get “involved” with multiple men or women. However, there is nothing wrong
with going to a coffee shop as friends. You may find that keeping an open mind,
gives you multiple options. The pianist at your local church, cashier at the
corner store, co-worker or your nephew’s teacher is all viable friends at the
very least. Get to know them—evaluate them.
Yes, evaluate.
I evaluated all of my dates; it’s like a running total that
I calculate as we talk. Sense of humor. Likes to read. Not very nice to the server—red
flag. Yes, how she treats other people is an indication of how she will treat
me when she is mad at me.
I had to learn that the hard way.
In your evaluation, it is not a good idea to be overly
critical. Some things that you feel or horrible may not be horrible at all. He does
not own a house; he stays in a studio apartment. He may be thinking there is no
point in getting a house until he has someone to share it with. He drives an
old car, even though he has a good job. You may think cheap, but I see loyalty.
He is willing to keep that car around despite the fact that it doesn’t look
like it use too….
Now back to my original point, dating is like the lottery. You
date enough and you will meet Boaz. Of course, if you are a guy and you have
dated let’s say, several women in the past two months, you look like a guitar
hero. However, if you are a woman and have dated several men in the past two
months, sex or not—you look easy.
It is a terrible double standard, but it doesn’t have to
limit you.
You avoid the limitation by redefining the parameters of
dating. Dating doesn’t have to be a relationship starter. It could be a fun
time between two interested and interesting people. A lunch date here. An ice
cream date there. All very harmless. Besides, as a woman, you have an insight
that men lack. I am willing to bet money that you know if you want to see this
man again in the first five minutes. Next time we will look at the fear of
being labeled.
Next
post: Labeled a Tease will post Tuesday.
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