I am a romantic at
heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written
has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples
together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see
that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated
in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I
learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going
until it is done.
I don’t wish to beat a dead horse, but even when you are in
the beginning stages of a brand new relationship don’t show yourself to be
desperate. You are going to have to put your heart in a minimal security
prison. This is true whether you are male or female.
You are going to need to follow your heart, to avoid any
type of regret, but you should follow it when it is ready. You shouldn’t chase
after anyone to the point your actions border on the line of stalking. But at
the same time, you shouldn’t play so hard to get that your love interest
questions if you are worth it.
Let’s be honest. He or she has no idea if you are worth it
or not. They have an idea but they don’t truly know and if you play mission
impossible, you become a message that will self-destruct in five seconds.
Boom.
As odd as it may sound, your chase needs to be balanced with
your retreat. For instance, suppose you ask your love interest out and they
give you an excuse; do not worry about it. The excuse may be legitimate and if
it is not, the truth will eventually come out. A good indicator that they are
into you is if they lead you to an alternative. Directly or indirectly. For
instance they may say, “I can’t go this weekend, because I have to ***** but I
am available next weekend if you want to hang out.” If that is the case, just
reschedule.
What should you do with a flat out rejection? Put it in a
box and flush it down the toilet—literally. This is just the precursor to the
first date and even if it is the first date, you can’t go all in—not yet.
Personally, if I asked a young lady out for Friday and she
says she has a hair appointment, I would take myself out. I would do something
for myself, something to show love for myself—that is important. You can’t
expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself.
At any rate, while you are balancing the line between chase
and retreat, you have to communicate. Be as straight forward as possible.
Remember, no games. Games are for children and if anyone tells you different,
they are probably playing to lose.
Communication is important because everyone is different and
you have to decipher what is the right level of pursuit. It is also different
with men. It is acceptable for a man to chase, but currently, that is an
outdated idea. Repeat after me: “Steve Urkel was a fool.”
But that’s another post.
At this point, the best I can tell you is to not to chase
too hard, but surely don’t run away. And this is where the confidence, self-esteem
you have built up comes into play because you are going to have to rely on your
instincts for the most point…. God Bless.
The
next article will post within a week.
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