The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {The First Date and more}

Previous Post: Don’t Chase too Hard, but don’t run away

This is my final post on finding love the biblical way. I hope that it has helped someone.

I doubt that you will even need to have multiple dates in your life, but there is nothing wrong with it. The bible says cast your bread on many waters and surely it will return to you. Well you can apply that to dating and meeting people.

Which leads to another question—how do you get to the first date? You have put yourself in position to meet someone special. Ideally, Boaz should ask you out. However, Boaz can sometimes be rather clueless. Therefore, like Ruth who had to present herself to Boaz, sometimes you have to tell your Boaz too. I understand if you are a woman and you don’t feel comfortable asking a man. And sometimes you won’t have too.

In my experience when a Ruth type asked me out, it was indirect and there is nothing wrong with that. A simple statement along the line of, “we should watch a movie together” is sufficient. I hope that your Boaz isn’t too dense. I hope that he or she will get the picture. There is always the possibility that he doesn’t want to get it, but if that is the case, then it is time to go on to the next one.

There are subtle ways of asking someone out, or showing interest. I think there is a place for passive aggression in dating. Like the young lady who faked falling so that her interest would catch her. Don’t try that. Some people do not have good reflexes. You could end up in the hospital.

But then again, you might meet the doctor of your dreams.

For the most point, if you are not willing to be brave and bold your chances of meeting your Boaz becomes slimmer. That is the thing with life, chance favors the bold and miracles favor those who persevere.

 

Now we have to ask ourselves.

Did Ruth and Boaz date? If you look at the book of Ruth, you would be hard pressed to call it a date. Their interaction started in the field. However, if we look at dating as a form of courtship, we see that dating itself is like water and can take the shape of the culture it is enclosed in.

Boaz and Ruth had a steady form of interaction. As she worked in the fields, Boaz made sure that she felt comfortable. He talked with her and helped her because he admired her.  If you look at their date as a progression, they went from a non-date, to the big date and on to the really big date (marriage).

That is how a relationship should behave. It should progress. If it slows, that is good. If it moves fast, that is not necessarily bad. However, in most cases, taking it slow is better.

While taking it slow, you can be cautious and allow your potential love interest to earn more and more of your trust. Don’t play games or treat him or her like a lab experiment. Just watch and pray. Look for red flags. Don’t ignore them. If a person attempts to tell you who they are—listen to them.

This goes more into the realm of maintaining a relationship. Maybe one day I will write about that, but that is for a later time.

A warning about sex.

The best thing you can do is to wait until marriage. It is easier if you a virgin, but it is rare to meet a virgin in their twenties, and that drops significantly when you are in your thirties. Moreover, the idea of two virgins actually coming together sounds nearly impossible.

What if you are not a virgin, but you wish to wait? I suggest that you gauge if the person you are dating has the fortitude to wait until marriage. If not, then understand that if you pursue a relationship with this person you may end up in a relationship that is flawed from the beginning.  It is not impossible to have a good relationship—if you are in the bed before you exchange wedding vows. It is just a really bad idea.

If you are already on the train and you are thinking that if I stop this train abruptly I am just going to derail and destroy—yeah, that is highly possible.

A train has to be slowed first. You and your mate can undo a lot of damage if you stop, make peace with one another and decide that you will march right into marriage hand in hand the best way possible. I know that it can be done…. I also know that it is one of the hardest things to do.

Good luck.

As stated earlier, this is the final post on Ruth and Boaz. It is not my final post, I will definitely continue the popular Short Story Saturdays, even if I am taking a break from that this weekend. But I will also post my thoughts on other subjects as well, so please stay tuned.

You can buy my adult scifi novel Hearteless: A Journey to Second Earth  @amazon or here.

For email updates, please click HERE and feel free to leave a message.

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The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {Don’t chase too hard, but don’t run away}

Previous Post: Flirt with interest

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.

I don’t wish to beat a dead horse, but even when you are in the beginning stages of a brand new relationship don’t show yourself to be desperate. You are going to have to put your heart in a minimal security prison. This is true whether you are male or female.

You are going to need to follow your heart, to avoid any type of regret, but you should follow it when it is ready. You shouldn’t chase after anyone to the point your actions border on the line of stalking. But at the same time, you shouldn’t play so hard to get that your love interest questions if you are worth it.

Let’s be honest. He or she has no idea if you are worth it or not. They have an idea but they don’t truly know and if you play mission impossible, you become a message that will self-destruct in five seconds.

Boom.

As odd as it may sound, your chase needs to be balanced with your retreat. For instance, suppose you ask your love interest out and they give you an excuse; do not worry about it. The excuse may be legitimate and if it is not, the truth will eventually come out. A good indicator that they are into you is if they lead you to an alternative. Directly or indirectly. For instance they may say, “I can’t go this weekend, because I have to ***** but I am available next weekend if you want to hang out.” If that is the case, just reschedule.

What should you do with a flat out rejection? Put it in a box and flush it down the toilet—literally. This is just the precursor to the first date and even if it is the first date, you can’t go all in—not yet.

Personally, if I asked a young lady out for Friday and she says she has a hair appointment, I would take myself out. I would do something for myself, something to show love for myself—that is important. You can’t expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself.

At any rate, while you are balancing the line between chase and retreat, you have to communicate. Be as straight forward as possible. Remember, no games. Games are for children and if anyone tells you different, they are probably playing to lose.

Communication is important because everyone is different and you have to decipher what is the right level of pursuit. It is also different with men. It is acceptable for a man to chase, but currently, that is an outdated idea. Repeat after me: “Steve Urkel was a fool.”

But that’s another post.

At this point, the best I can tell you is to not to chase too hard, but surely don’t run away. And this is where the confidence, self-esteem you have built up comes into play because you are going to have to rely on your instincts for the most point…. God Bless.  

The next article will post within a week.

For email updates, please click HERE and feel free to leave a message.

Also, feel free to comment below and follow me on Google and Twitter @ Frank_D_Rogers or You can buy my adult scifi novel @amazon or here.

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {Flirt with interest}

Previous Post: Act like a lady, think like a—oh just be yourself

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.

Now that he has shown interest in you, chances are there will be times when you are not sure about his interest in you. This will be a great time to turn up the heat by flirting more. Yes, I am assuming that you are flirting in some form all ready. But now is the time to flirt even more.

What flirting does is reassure him of your interest—it is sad to say but Boaz needs reassuring too-but it is also a way to assess interest. If you are flirting with your new interest and they are not responding to it in a positive way then you should be concerned. Don’t panic. But put this in your concern box to watch and pray about.

Reasons for a lack of interest could cover a huge range. None of which you can really concern yourself with. You are not psychic, so all you can do is do your part to flirt. Flirt somewhere in the range of subtle to overt tones.

Come to think of it, some of the flirtatious things you will do naturally—if you just let yourself relax. Touching his arm, moving a misplaced hair, paying attention, hanging on his every word and putting yourself in a position to be touched. I have noticed that for some women this is an overt act. A kind of banging a guy across the head and screaming “I want you!”

To you, I say if it ain’t broken, don’t try to fix it. But I have seen to many women and men who just were down right terrible at flirting. Bad to the point of repulsion. Example in my personal life, a girl who was interested in me wanted to entice me with amazing sex. This test involved rubbing my testicles with a sharp instrument. And while she seemed to draw great pleasure out of describing the act, it was anything but pleasurable in my mind. She said she was joking.

But I wasn’t laughing.

If you aren’t good at flirting, one of the best ways to get good is by practicing. But we will talk about it more next time.

Please, feel free to comment below and follow me on Google and Twitter @ Frank_D_Rogers You can buy my scifi novel @amazon or here.

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {Act like a lady, think like a—oh just be yourself}

Sorry for the Hiatus

Previous Post: I think I got his/her attention

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.

As you already know, games are for children. Ladies do not play games. If your immediate retort is that men play games all the time. My response to you is that they are not really men….

Now, in terms of being lady-like, I know some of you were raised to be tomboys. You sit with your legs wider than most men do—when you are wearing jeans. Moreover, you are not into the whole prissy thing. If your idea of letting off steam is hitting a punching bag instead of going for a walk, then do not worry about it. Doing those things does not make you less of a lady.

In fact, the only thing that I think distinguishes a lady from a…non-lady is her natural beauty. In other words, do not hide the fact that you are beautiful. You are a beautiful woman, so act like it.

Do not try to approach life like the worst kind of man, just because some commercial tells you that it is okay. Be comfortable in your femininity. I am not trying to put women back fifty years, but I have seen many women adopting the habits of the bad boy.  

However, one of the great things about women is that most of them are too smart to have one-night stands. Most women actually worry about having unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancies. Most women prefer to make smart decisions.

Therefore, that natural beauty that I am talking about is that part inside of you that makes you thoughtful, loving and creative. Men have this too, but they do not have it as abundantly as women do. It is one of the things that make a relationship so wonderful, particularly for a man. The woman can give him the kind of love that he does not even know he needs. Does this mean you should be overbearingly mothering? No, please do not do that. Be crazy, sexy, and cool. Be yourself.

 Do not be his mother.

Next time: Flirt with interest.

Please, feel free to comment below and follow me on Google and Twitter @ Frank_D_Rogers You can buy my scifi novel @amazon or here.

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {I think I got his/her attention…now what?~Part 1}

Previous Post: How to gain confidence

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.

Okay, you got his attention. Good. Your love interest is asking you what movies you like. Don’t panic, just be honest with him. Ruth did not play games and neither should you. Games are for children and you are an adult. If you feel that you have to play games, then this is not the relationship for you.

If you just like to play games, then I am not sure why you are reading this blog.

Ruth did little to hide her attentions toward Boaz. She was up front. Moreover, she was honest and that is important. It sets the tone for your relationship, if you are up front with one another in the beginning. You will be up front with one another ten years from now.

However, whatever you do, don’t walk in desperation. We are designed to be loved and when we don’t have the love we want, it is hard not to behave in a desperate manner. But desperate behavior is the opposite of confident behavior in most cases.  Over-eagerness will push anyone away. Confidence will attract most people.

 Just remember desperation repulses. Confidence attracts.

Think about something that most good people accept: when you are in a relationship, everybody wants to date you. However, when you are single, no one notices you. Why is that? Because when you are in a relationship, you are less desperate.

So in short, move forward in confidence.

 Next time: Act like a lady, think like a—oh, just be yourself!

Please, feel free to comment below and follow me on Google and Twitter @ Frank_D_Rogers. For more information about my debut Sci-fi novel, click Here.