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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {The First Date and more}

Previous Post: Don’t Chase too Hard, but don’t run away

This is my final post on finding love the biblical way. I hope that it has helped someone.

I doubt that you will even need to have multiple dates in your life, but there is nothing wrong with it. The bible says cast your bread on many waters and surely it will return to you. Well you can apply that to dating and meeting people.

Which leads to another question—how do you get to the first date? You have put yourself in position to meet someone special. Ideally, Boaz should ask you out. However, Boaz can sometimes be rather clueless. Therefore, like Ruth who had to present herself to Boaz, sometimes you have to tell your Boaz too. I understand if you are a woman and you don’t feel comfortable asking a man. And sometimes you won’t have too.

In my experience when a Ruth type asked me out, it was indirect and there is nothing wrong with that. A simple statement along the line of, “we should watch a movie together” is sufficient. I hope that your Boaz isn’t too dense. I hope that he or she will get the picture. There is always the possibility that he doesn’t want to get it, but if that is the case, then it is time to go on to the next one.

There are subtle ways of asking someone out, or showing interest. I think there is a place for passive aggression in dating. Like the young lady who faked falling so that her interest would catch her. Don’t try that. Some people do not have good reflexes. You could end up in the hospital.

But then again, you might meet the doctor of your dreams.

For the most point, if you are not willing to be brave and bold your chances of meeting your Boaz becomes slimmer. That is the thing with life, chance favors the bold and miracles favor those who persevere.

 

Now we have to ask ourselves.

Did Ruth and Boaz date? If you look at the book of Ruth, you would be hard pressed to call it a date. Their interaction started in the field. However, if we look at dating as a form of courtship, we see that dating itself is like water and can take the shape of the culture it is enclosed in.

Boaz and Ruth had a steady form of interaction. As she worked in the fields, Boaz made sure that she felt comfortable. He talked with her and helped her because he admired her.  If you look at their date as a progression, they went from a non-date, to the big date and on to the really big date (marriage).

That is how a relationship should behave. It should progress. If it slows, that is good. If it moves fast, that is not necessarily bad. However, in most cases, taking it slow is better.

While taking it slow, you can be cautious and allow your potential love interest to earn more and more of your trust. Don’t play games or treat him or her like a lab experiment. Just watch and pray. Look for red flags. Don’t ignore them. If a person attempts to tell you who they are—listen to them.

This goes more into the realm of maintaining a relationship. Maybe one day I will write about that, but that is for a later time.

A warning about sex.

The best thing you can do is to wait until marriage. It is easier if you a virgin, but it is rare to meet a virgin in their twenties, and that drops significantly when you are in your thirties. Moreover, the idea of two virgins actually coming together sounds nearly impossible.

What if you are not a virgin, but you wish to wait? I suggest that you gauge if the person you are dating has the fortitude to wait until marriage. If not, then understand that if you pursue a relationship with this person you may end up in a relationship that is flawed from the beginning.  It is not impossible to have a good relationship—if you are in the bed before you exchange wedding vows. It is just a really bad idea.

If you are already on the train and you are thinking that if I stop this train abruptly I am just going to derail and destroy—yeah, that is highly possible.

A train has to be slowed first. You and your mate can undo a lot of damage if you stop, make peace with one another and decide that you will march right into marriage hand in hand the best way possible. I know that it can be done…. I also know that it is one of the hardest things to do.

Good luck.

As stated earlier, this is the final post on Ruth and Boaz. It is not my final post, I will definitely continue the popular Short Story Saturdays, even if I am taking a break from that this weekend. But I will also post my thoughts on other subjects as well, so please stay tuned.


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