Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {Finding Boaz Part V~Tease}

Previous Post:”Part IV~Casting Bread ”

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.  

Most of my posts apply just as much to men as women. It sounds odd to consider a male as a Ruth-type and a female as a Boaz-type. I hope that you have read the bible well enough to know that Ruth’s decision making was heavily influenced by the fact that she was a woman in a strange land.

However in this day and age, we recognize that men and women actually share similarities. Yes, that idea that men are from Mars and women from Venus sold a lot of books, but the fact of the matter is that both men and women are from Earth.

Yet, there are some things that apply to women that do not apply to men and vice versa. One such thing that applies because of the nature of society is labeling women as a tease or a flirt. Many women of high standards and status wonder what to do if people label them as a tease…or worse.

My answer: “Who cares?”

I don’t wish to cause another Christian to stumble, but I can’t live my life based upon what other people want or feel and I don’t expect you to do so either. I know that it is natural to care deeply about what others think of you. There is a time and a place for that, but in the end when you go home and look in the mirror you are looking at the one person who has no choice but to live with the decisions you make.

So your business is your business.

A lot of things you do are between you and God. That’s why it is okay that sometimes you shouldn’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Sometimes the left-hand just doesn’t need to know. If you have a coffee date with Jim on Wednesday, that is fine. If Kwame, who has a little girl that he gets on the weekend wants your little girls to meet at the park for a play date—that is fine too. You are not doing anything wrong. If Jim inquires about your weekend, tell him the truth. Don’t make it out to be more than what it is. Don’t build your relationship on lies. If you have to lie, then obviously you two have more going on than meets the eye. If not, just tell him that you and a male friend have set up a play date for both of your girls.

Now, if you are apprehensive about doing this, then I am going to assume that you and your guy have moved from the “friend” zone to “more than friends” zone. If that is the case than you shouldn’t see anyone else until you have determined that there is no viable reason to pursue this relationship.

Also another reason why the silent treatment is a good thing is because your budding relationship may not work out. But you have told your friends, sisters, and parents about this wonderful relationship. Now, they bring up your relationship every time they see you.

What happens, when you have a rough patch in your ill-defined relationship? You know that place between friends and lovers that confuses all of us? This will only add to your misery….

Do yourself a favor and just shut up…seriously.

Now admittedly, I know men and women who can’t hold water. They have to tell anyone who will listen, a play by play analysis of their life. I am shaking my head right now, because a person like that is like the gunslinger that had a habit of scratching his head with a loaded gun. I mean it may not be a problem, but it is a really bad idea. And of course, habits are difficult to break. I don’t think it is necessary to discuss what happened to the gunslinger….

Again, I can sum this post up in a few sentences. People take a little information and make huge assumptions. So, my solution? Don’t give them even a little information. Your business is your business. And when that doesn’t work—because people will believe what they want to believe—then don’t let what they believe prevent you from having what you believe you can achieve.

Next Post: When you meet Diet Boaz
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