Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Book of Ruth: Finding #Love the Biblical Way {Finding Boaz Part IV}

Previous Post: "Part III ~ Insecurities.”

I am a romantic at heart. No, I am not a romance novelist. However, every book that I have written has a romantic element. I am a fan of love. I love seeing happy couples together and cringe when I see unhappy couples tolerating one another—I see that a lot. When I read the book of Ruth, I was fascinated. They actually dated in biblical times. Who knew? Seriously, I read it and I want to share what I learned. I don’t know how long this series will last, but I will keep going until it is done.   

The Bible says cast your bread on many waters and surely it will return to you. It is a life principle found in proverbs, a great book of wisdom. If you give love, than surely you will receive it. As a mathematician, I can see the logic behind this principle. If you have the time and money, you are destined to win the lottery, buying a million tickets may not be enough but it is possible.

Now, I am not suggesting in any shape, form or fashion that you get “involved” with multiple men or women. However, there is nothing wrong with going to a coffee shop as friends. You may find that keeping an open mind, gives you multiple options. The pianist at your local church, cashier at the corner store, co-worker or your nephew’s teacher is all viable friends at the very least. Get to know them—evaluate them.

Yes, evaluate.

I evaluated all of my dates; it’s like a running total that I calculate as we talk. Sense of humor. Likes to read. Not very nice to the server—red flag. Yes, how she treats other people is an indication of how she will treat me when she is mad at me.

I had to learn that the hard way.

In your evaluation, it is not a good idea to be overly critical. Some things that you feel or horrible may not be horrible at all. He does not own a house; he stays in a studio apartment. He may be thinking there is no point in getting a house until he has someone to share it with. He drives an old car, even though he has a good job. You may think cheap, but I see loyalty. He is willing to keep that car around despite the fact that it doesn’t look like it use too….

Now back to my original point, dating is like the lottery. You date enough and you will meet Boaz. Of course, if you are a guy and you have dated let’s say, several women in the past two months, you look like a guitar hero. However, if you are a woman and have dated several men in the past two months, sex or not—you look easy.

It is a terrible double standard, but it doesn’t have to limit you.

You avoid the limitation by redefining the parameters of dating. Dating doesn’t have to be a relationship starter. It could be a fun time between two interested and interesting people. A lunch date here. An ice cream date there. All very harmless. Besides, as a woman, you have an insight that men lack. I am willing to bet money that you know if you want to see this man again in the first five minutes. Next time we will look at the fear of being labeled.
Next post: Labeled a Tease will post Tuesday.