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Saturday, September 7, 2013

Hate the game, but don’t unfairly judge the player: A look at judging others.

I believe in justice. I believe in what is right and when I see injustice, when I see wrong it angers me. I know that whether I am angry or not, I shouldn’t be quick to judge.

However, that’s easier said than done.

The problem is sometimes we end up misjudging good people. We misjudge good people who have made mistakes or who live a life that disagrees with our worldview. Just because a person gambles or dances at a strip club, doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. Nevertheless, even if it is wrong based on whatever your beliefs may be, you can hate what they do, but you should never ever make false assumptions about the person that does it.

When we make assumptions, when we judge unfairly, when we close our hearts to compassion, we become unforgiving and hateful. It is never good to hate. Hatred is a cancer that eats you up from the inside out.

We should consider that the person, who does wrong, probably doesn’t want to do wrong. The person that does wrong probably wants a way out. The person that does wrong may come to you because they need help. But what good are you to them if you have already judged them guilty and are poised to throw your first stone?

Our hearts tend to tune into the radio station of hatred, prejudice and profiling, probably because injustice surrounds us. So much so, that it has become the new normal.

For example, I believe that cheating on your significant other is wrong. I think that most will agree with me, but it is so common that it is an accepted practice. In fact, I have had friends cheat on their loved ones.

One of my female friends cheated on a faithful boyfriend. You would think that she would be happy with a faithful man, since that is hard to come by, but she wasn’t satisfied and sought fulfillment in the arms of another man.   

One of my male friends cheated on his girlfriend. His girlfriend was saving herself for marriage. She was saving herself for him….

In both cases, I failed to understand why a person would destroy something that was so beautiful. And I hated what they did, but I chose not to hate or judge them, because I realized that they were not monsters, they were human beings that had weaknesses.

I recognized that I am not perfect. Besides when a person does wrong, there are three things to consider:

1.       How hard they fought to do right.

2.       The strength of the forces/temptation working against them.

3.       What we would do if we were in the same situation.

Those three things alone should be enough to arouse understanding in our heart.

My point is that compassion is missing in the world today. People lack empathy and their hearts are so hardened that individuals want to throw stones at everyone who has done wrong—even children.

We have to open our hearts to compassion and love for our fellow man. The best of us are sometime thrown into the negative side of the game of life and we will eventually need reconciliation. However, there is no reconciliation if there is no compassion and eventually we will all be alone.